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You would think a pink and grey sperm collector called “SW-3701” would have come out of Japan.

But nope.

China did it first.

This medical device from Nanjing, capital of Jiangsu Province, has re-emerged on social media again after its debut a few years ago – and it still makes eyes bulge, and probably a few trousers. Then there are all the view comments you could imagine (from creative new names, to not-so-creative comparisons to girlfriends or wives, several milk machine images, and plenty of “I’m just here for the comments”).

But before you get ready to whip out your wallets, remember this thing has a price tag of around five to six thousand dollars.

According to the director of the urology department, the idea was to have a device “to help individuals that are finding it difficult to retrieve sperm the old fashioned way.” Users can adjust the pipe height, suction frequency, amplitude, and even the temperature. There are also options to watch “stimulating material.”

But wait, there’s MORE!

Another feature is the Premature Ejaculation Desensitization Training. Here’s the blub directly from a sellers site…

“The strong currents impact and rub the glans penis repeatedly in order to reduce the excitability of nerve endings so as to passivate the nerve of glans penis, sulcus coronarius, and the surface of the penis, and regulate the sex nerve center in order to minimize nerve sensitivity, improve ejaculatory threshold to treat premature ejaculation.”

So…it’s helps you cum and NOT cum? Yay for multifunction’s!